what i have learned

with every decision made, i will always wonder about the other

many of you know that i had an impossibly difficult time trying to decide between byu and the university of michigan. i had pretty substantial reasons to want to remain close to home, one being the prestige of the university that accepted me for admittance. i had great friends, relationships, and family very close by. for whatever reason (i still am not sure), i chose to attend byu, and i do not regret it at all. i am happy to be here, happy with the relationships i've been lucky to establish, happy with the decisions i've been making, and happy for the growth i've experienced. are there days where i wonder what it would've been like if i went to michigan? of course. but they do say "the grass is always greener on the other side."

think before you sign

contracts have become terrifying to me after my experiences with them. it all began with gold's gym, more specifically, Candy at gold's gym. i have no problem saying that she tricked me into signing a two year, binding contract. i have never felt so confused and afraid after leaving gold's gym knowing i have no excuse anymore about why i do not go to the gym. so, think before you sign, read the fine print, ask questions, etc. this also came into play as i signed three separate leases: winter, spring/summer, and fall/winter. it's hard to make big decisions without my parents close by! this might be common sense to most of you, but it wasn't to me...

there is always something to be learned

moving to provo, ut was definitely a culture shock for me. i wasn't used to being immersed in lds culture, and i had a really, really difficult time adapting. i was desperately trying to find a group similar to the friends i had at home, and because of this i think i had the tendency to judge people too quickly. i finally realized that there is something that everyone can take from each situation and each person they encounter. it's great to associate yourself with people who you might not normally spend time with. they might turn out to be a wonderful friend, they might have interesting point of views or different insights, they might teach you what NOT to do, and either way, they help to shape you into the person that you want to become. so, participate in as much as you can. it is SO GREAT to feel uncomfortable, because those are the times that you experience the most growth.

i hate saying goodbye

well, this is pretty self-explanatory. it all began when i moved from home to utah, saying goodbye to my bffls, my parents, my family, etc. on top of that, the beauty of being a freshman here at byu is that almost every guy friend you will meet will be leaving very shortly to serve his 2 year mission for the lds church. it was especially wonderful when i had to say goodbye to jordan, first at byu, then in detroit, then in alabama, then in provo, then at the salt lake airport. i hate saying goodbye.

change is good

a little change of pace never hurt anyone. as scary as it can be sometimes, never be afraid to change your situation. take a chance and do it. it could be a disaster, but it could also present you with yet another time you can improve yourself and learn your weaknesses. try to find atleast one positive aspect of something, especially when it feels like the situation is hopeless. look on the bright side.

what is good for the soul

learn what makes you feel the most joy. there is a difference between what makes you feel most joy and what is the most fun. most of the time, the things that are easiest and most fun are not actually the best for you. doing something nice for someone else for no reason at all is an example of something that will make you feel truly happy.

and...

the best kind of relationship is one where your significant other inspires you to be a better person on a daily basis. someone who genuinely wants the best for you, who wants to watch you do great things with your life. someone who works as an addition to the family/friend relationships you already have in your life, who takes the time to get to know the people that you already love. someone who is always thinking of ways to make you happy and show you they care about you and love you. who challenges you and forces you to think in ways you normally wouldn't and brings out the best in you. this is how i think love is meant to be.

Draper Temple Visit

Here is a video of the Draper Temple courtesy of Andrea Marks. You can find out more about LDS Temples at www.ldschurchtemples.com

Dear Mama and Papa

The Draper Temple: One of my favorite, favorite places to be. Here I am in front of the sign (in my new blazer-here's your picture). And here is a picture of the front door and the vertical columns that I like. It's a nice place. Love you guys!

beautiful blueberries

to me, nothing brings more contentment like watching a great movie or reading a good book, one that makes me think and forces me to analyze my own circumstances and those of others. in 2007, a movie titled into the wild was released, receiving two academy award nominations and also featuring an amazing soundtrack thanks to eddie vedder. i watched this movie with my parents and was deeply impacted by the true story of a man name christopher mccandless. for those of you not familiar with the story, mccandless loathed the idea of materialism and resented his parents, and much of society, for their emphasis on wealth and "things." against his true heart's desire, he earned a college degree from emory, and then he took off after graduation. his goal was to eventually make it west to alaska and live off of the land. he wanted to abandon life as he knew it to search for something greater, more fulfilling, and more substantial. he loved nature, self-reliance, literature, learning, studying, and living life. the duration of his adventure was about two years, and he did make it to alaska, walking into the wild.

for whatever reason, i became extremely infatuated with his story, as did my brother who cried like a baby after watching the movie. i thought chris's story was amazing. i quickly discovered that many people felt completely opposite of me. i decided i might receive a more accurate account of chris's story by reading the book into the wild by john krakauer, and i was right. i was fascinated by chris's will to escape the conditions of society. he did what part of me always wanted to run away from: the obsession so many people have with material possessions. he traveled across the country and consciously paused to take in his surroundings. he touched the lives of several people that he was able to form relationships with as he worked briefly at different jobs or stayed with people willing and eager to hear about his adventure. he found comfort and wisdom in the works of brilliant minds like tolstoy and thoreau. i am amazed at his thought process, how carefully he pondered the thoughts and opinions of others and how genuinely interested he was in learning about the lives of others. he had the bravery to take intense risks and the hope and surety that he could tackle any obstacle that arose. he donated the $24,000 that comprised his savings account to oxfam america. he studied oppression in south africa and truly wanted to be of help to people that needed it. i think what fascinated me is that his mindset and actions are so rare, and no matter how extreme he chose to rebel, he meant it in the noblest way. he did not mean to hurt others or to prove a point, and this is what so many people have a problem with. he chose these actions for himself, to make sense of the world the way he felt he needed to. after graduating college, his parents never heard from him again. their hurt and suffering is now a permanent addition to their every day lives. he began to form relationships with several people on the road and then left as soon as he felt any sort of attachment. some argue that he was crazy, that he entered the wild ill-prepared and thus was responsible for his own demise. after analyzing both sides carefully, i cannot help but respect him for his eventual self-discovery and his ability to follow his dreams no matter where they took him. here are some of my favorite quotes from the movie and the book, perhaps something to ponder:

quoting thoreau, "Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness...give me truth."

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

"You are wrong if you think joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living."

"Happiness [is] only real when shared."

provo did this to me

coming to college, i was expecting to pick up some new hobbies. considering i go to byu, people generally are forced to get a little more creative with their time. never did i imagine that the hobby i have picked up would be........planning my wedding. it could be a combination of the fact that 51% of any byu class graduates married. the fact that i am in love could have also played a role in this sick new obsession. i will also admit that my mom's idea to send 4 different wedding magazines in a "care package" may have sparked this. nevertheless, it's fun. it really is.

i had an interesting new experience this week that assisted the planning quite well. my roommate andi and i were sitting at our new apartment south of campus when i thought, it's friday, and we should really go out and do something fun. and by something fun, we mean eat. preferably dessert. so, naturally, andi's first thought: let's go to park city and eat something fancy. indulge a little. why not, i am now a working girl. so we hopped in my '99 toyota camry (which, of late, has been in rough shape) and headed to the canyon and on to park city.

before i continue, i should add that my family members only enable this new hobby of mine. recently, my cousin stephanie suggested a hotel in park city for a possible reception location. the stein erikson lodge.

continuing, we exited the freeway, and andi had the brilliant idea of checking out this spot and perhaps some others, just for fun. soon we were driving up the side of a mountain, and then we arrived. the parking lot was no where to be found; instead, a man working valet parking greeted us. thinking we were going to turn around (i was not driving), andi refused to stop. she lied to the man, saying, "we are coming to eat in the restaurant!" mind you, this is a five star hotel. i am sporting my once-white converse shoes while andi wore a hoodless sweatshirt and a longhorns hat. under dressed perhaps. i was too embarrassed to override andi's decision, so i stepped out of my car taking one last look to see capri sun wrappers, a few empty cups, teddy grahams, lotion, and other miscellaneous items littering my car. horrifying? very. we entered the hotel and spent twenty minutes wandering around in places we most likely did not belong. we took advantage of the bathrooms adorned with personal cloth hand towels to be tossed into a hamper and hand painted stall doors. after seeing a few potential spots, we tipped the valet $2, and continued on to eat ice cream and visit a nice little book store. not only was it a wonderful friday night, but i really did progress with my plans.

(ps-no, i'm not actually engaged.)

freshman year in a very small nutshell

getting started

why blog? i thought this might be a convenient way to keep everyone up to date on the latest happenings in my life. last august after finishing what i consider to be the first chapter of my life, i moved across the country to attend school at BYU, leaving behind many people that i love. sometimes it is hard to keep in touch with so many people, or remember to tell them something funny that happened, or share what i am thinking or feeling, so hopefully this will help. i don't know what it takes to be a quality blogger yet, so here we go.